Just the other day I tried to open a jar of Pickled Gurkins and failed. I tried everything, the lid didnt budge.
I am now trying to find ways of reasserting my manliness, any suggestions?
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My work laid bare for all...and maybe something brilliant!
3 comments:
-Drink until you fall over
-Have a curry and smell like one for 24 hours
-Fart like a walrus at every opportunity
-Belch like a bullfrog bonus points for saying words whilst you do it
-Scratch your groin and shuffle position of the crown jewels every 15 minutes
-Hog the remote control like hitler
-Say your going to do some gardening , stand in the garden, look meaningful around the garden, go "hrmmmmm" then after 10 minutes return in doors
-Moan at your football manager even though he cant hear you
-Leave you socks in your shoes or trainers
-Never move from your favourite chair whilst watching telly; its a mans throne.
-Moan about the price of beer
If you are doing more than 3 or more of these things your manliness does not require any adjustment.
Though you may wish to invest in a crash helmet and padding as some of these activites are hightly dangerous around women....
It's all dangerous around women but the remote control thing is especially. It's my telly. I paid for it and until you buy your own the remote control is mine!
I might have a few other suggestions, but not for here...everyone might see...
Might give him some more inspiriation to write smut ;D
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